He’d Had Erectile Dysfunction For A Year. It Disappeared The Moment He Felt Truly Seen…
A client came to see me just yesterday for a Somatic Sexology one to one session, struggling with erectile dysfunction.
Before we did anything, I took him through the same symptom quiz I run with every man who comes to me with this issue, because the very first question that matters has nothing to do with sex at all.
Is this hormonal and physical, or is it emotional and psychological?
Until you know which one you’re dealing with, you’re guessing at the fix.
If you’ve got erection issues yourself, ask yourself the same question now. Are they tied to something physical, low testosterone, blood flow, medication, a health condition, or do they show up only in certain situations, with certain people, under certain pressure. The answer changes everything about which route actually helps you.
For this client, it was clearly psychological. Nothing physical was getting in the way. Something else was. He had one random negative experience a year ago, and couldn’t let it go…
In Sexological Bodywork, once we’re clear on what’s actually happening, there’s room for hands on work, in full alignment with whatever the client’s own goals and outcomes are. This is something a client actively asks for, and we build the session entirely around what they say they want to learn and experience.
[ps download your free guide “Erotic Awakening For Me” - the 5 phases you must go through to heal your sexuality]
What this man wanted was to be witnessed, naked, while he touched himself. He wanted to be back in touch with his virility, sexual power and love for his own cock. I can’t think of something better to help someone with! Falling back in love with your own penis… beautiful!
I agreed, and we built the session around this…
It turned out to be the single biggest turn on he’d experienced in longer than he could remember.
I guided him through the session, talking him through his own touch, woven through with a little erotic hypnosis to help him drop fully into his own sexual power.
For the full hour, his erection didn’t waver once! He could barely believe it. A year of struggling with this, and the one thing that finally worked had nothing to do with pills, technique or trying harder or distracting himself…
Here’s what was actually going on…
He had a need that wasn’t being met anywhere in his erotic life; being fully seen and witnessed exactly as he was, properly witnessed, with someone’s whole attention right there in the room.
The moment that need finally got met, his body stopped working against him and started working with him. The energy and blood flow pumped to his cock and gave him that full, hard beautiful erection that he’d been chasing for a year.
This same root cause shows up constantly with premature ejaculation, with low libido, with sex that’s gone flat and boring.
Find what’s actually underneath it, work with the right person to meet it directly, and the symptom you came in with often resolves itself almost as a side effect. Sometimes it can take a little longer for sure… but relatively quickly compared to most other approaches.
This is exactly why this work is so different from anything else available. In Sexological Bodywork, you can ask to be witnessed naked, or ask for guided touch on your own body, including your genitals. None of this is sex work. I never undress, and I never receive touch back. Every single thing that happens is led by consent and held inside clear boundaries, all in service of what you’re there to learn. And we work within a strict and specific code of conduct.
And yes, this works over Zoom too. I guide men from all over the world through their own self pleasure practice online, and the witnessing and the guidance work exactly the same way. The only real difference is that all the touch is your own, guided by my voice rather than my hands.
Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent describes four ways we ever relate to touch: giving, taking, receiving and allowing, split across whether you’re doing something or having something done to you, and whether it’s for your benefit or theirs.
Many of us live almost entirely in giving and taking, performing, doing it right, making sure the other person’s having a good time. Receiving, being touched for your own pleasure alone, with nothing expected back, is the quadrant fewest of us ever get real practice in.
That’s what happened in this client session. For one full hour, this man got to simply receive, witnessed and guided towards his own pleasure, with nothing required of him in return, no performance, no giving anything back, only permission to feel exactly what he felt, in his own body, on his own terms. His erection was a faithful messenger all along, telling him precisely what his body had been missing.
This is the heart of Sexological Bodywork, helping you meet the parts of yourself that have been waiting, sometimes for years, to finally be seen.
If this is landing for you, book a free connection call with me below, and let’s find out what your body might actually be trying to tell you.
[Book a connection call here → https://tidycal.com/gary-albert/erotic-revolution]
With love and pleasure, Gary x
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